Rule #18: If a guy asks you to watch a movie alone, expect only to watch your self-respect drain out of your perchina.

26 May

I mean, if you want an easy hook-up, take the easy hookup. And perhaps this spur of the moment, no planning or alcohol needed booty call is exactly what the doctor ordered! I’ve never been a girl to shoot another down when it comes to making reality out of sexual fantasy.  However be cautious to not let too many star penises get sucked into the blackhole of a perchina you’ve got there. Not because you shouldn’t be getting ass all the time, but that’s what a boyfriend is for and you don’t want to delve into that whole mess of a universe. Ugh, relationships. I’m getting off track.

In this whole movie situation chances are he either is too shy to make a real move and buy you a fucking dinner or he thinks your an easy lay and doesn’t want to waste money on dinner anyways. Times are tough in this economy people! If it weren’t for an inexpensive monthly payment movie alternative, some people would never get laid! Movie-togetherness time makes it so easy for attempts at baby making. Think of the ideal situation for you to pleasure one another: lights are dim, but not off (you still have to be able to check to see if the other person is up to your level of attraction and oh uh yeah to check them for ticks and rashes), a secluded room with some sensual music tuning out all the squishing noises. Now, what is the room like when you watch a movie alone together?? The movie creates the background music while creating the perfect amount of shifting light for you to check the other person out while still not worrying about your potential (but not likely) flaws. It’s the warm front to a perfect storm.

There was once a boy in my dormitory. We had been talking, you know, talking for a few weeks but nothing had come of it. Maybe the little shit couldn’t afford dinner. But he had visited me at work and diligently texted me. When he asked me to do the movie thing alone in his dorm with the lights off and the door locked, no romance happened but a lot of kissing and maybe some heavy rubbing. I say no romance because we were both just trying to get our own nut. That is not how good hookups happen. It seemed so…how you say…forced? I blame the situation. We felt that since we were watching a movie alone together we might as well be going at it. I swiftly changed my mind when I found out that he thought my clit was somewhere between my knee and panty line. Not even joking.

Now I wonder: If this is how he always hooked up with girls, by making them fall into his little trap, then how could he not learn how to please a woman? Oh yeah, probably because he doesn’t care enough to take her on a real date. If he can’t even do that, then how will he respectfully apply the proper lube??

So take it or leave it, but just know that you will be hooking up if there was any amount of flirting between the two of you beforehand.

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One Response to “Rule #18: If a guy asks you to watch a movie alone, expect only to watch your self-respect drain out of your perchina.”

  1. wealllikeithot May 27, 2012 at 9:41 pm #

    This is SO spot on. I was just thinking about this earlier. I do have to admit though, I will accept a movie invitation if it’s a film I really want to see and just give him the cold shoulder all night. But a hot bod and a stocked bar will also get me on that couch.

    Great posts and wonderful writing!

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